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Cytat
Do celu tam się wysiada. Lec Stanisław Jerzy (pierw. de Tusch-Letz, 1909-1966)
A bogowie grają w kości i nie pytają wcale czy chcesz przyłączyć się do gry (. . . ) Bogowie kpią sobie z twojego poukładanego życia (. . . ) nie przejmują się zbytnio ani naszymi planami na przyszłość ani oczekiwaniami. Gdzieś we wszechświecie rzucają kości i przypadkiem wypada twoja kolej. I odtąd zwyciężyć lub przegrać - to tylko kwestia szczęścia. Borys Pasternak
Idąc po kurzych jajach nie podskakuj. Przysłowie szkockie
I Herkules nie poradzi przeciwko wielu.
Dialog półinteligentów równa się monologowi ćwierćinteligenta. Stanisław Jerzy Lec (pierw. de Tusch - Letz, 1909-1966)
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. The Rewards of RelationshipsInfusing Energy and Passion into6Social InteractionsThey d been married for three months now, and everything about herwas a novelty and a revelation, right down to the way she stepped intoher jeans in the morning or pouted over a saucepan of ratatouille, athin strip of green pepper disappearing between her lips while thesteam rose witchily in her hair. T.C.BoyleThe opposite of love is not hate; it s indifference. Elie WieselI graduated from college with a focus on investment banking and went towork on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.It was the job Iseemed born into.My grandmother was one of the first women to crackthe glass ceiling in the field of finance, and I had several cousins whoearned a living on the floor and subscribed to Gordon Gekko s greed-is-good lifestyle.A few years into my money-making career, I had a revelation whilehanging out with a few close friends on a golf course in the wee hours ofthe morning.Nearly every week that summer, we would illegally hop a 126 Curious?fence with our lawn chairs and beers, and talk until the sun rose.Each ofus had girlfriends and weekend party invitations, but nothing brought usmore pleasure than being out in nature (golf courses being the extent ofnature in the suburbs), sharing our philosophies, and laughing while therest of the world slept.During one of those nights, I was whining about the monotony of thestock market and how my sanity was being saved by stimulating booksthat awaited me at home.The books we read bled into our conversations.I was talking about Philip Dick s surreal, pessimistic vision of what theUnited States might look like if it had lost WWII to Germany and Japan.Concentration camps flourished and everyone, from corporate executivesto gas station attendants, would forgo logic to make decisions by turningto the ancient oracle known as the I Ching.Other topics simmeredwithin me, from the thin line separating genius and madness to scientificdiscoveries about love and creativity.My friend Dave scrunched towardthe edge of his chair, looked straight into my eyes, and said, I don t getit.If you re so interested in these topics, why don t you go into psychol-ogy? Feed your starving brain and save the stock investments for your freetime.Flip your worlds. And that was it.Maybe it was the susceptibilityof that field-of-dreams moment (fueled by alcohol and sleep deprivation),but at 4 a.m.that morning I decided to become a scientist.But first Ineeded the right mentor.In the late 1960s, Arthur Aron was a graduate student getting his doctor-ate in social psychology at Berkeley amid the backdrop of radical socialchanges.Elaine was a student in his T-group (T trust).In this emotion-ally charged atmosphere, the two of them were at odds throughout thisgroup process course.Elaine had extensive leadership experience andthought Art was running these groups wrong.When the semester ended,constraints lifted, and, as Art says, I remember that very day.We walkedonto the campus quad, looked at each other, and though we had beenfighting constantly up to this point, we kissed.It was very intense andbasically we have been living together ever since. As budding scientists falling in love, they wondered why nobody was The Rewards of Relationships 127studying this profound human experience.So began a shared careerdedicated to understanding what it means to be close to another humanbeing, and the circumstances and meanings of intimate relationships.My path crossed with Art s soon after I left Wall Street.I was search-ing for an entry-level research job in preparation for graduate-school ap-plications.I stumbled upon Art s lab, and I vaguely remember the phoneconversation that unveiled the start to my career.Art was looking at howcouples in committed relationships re-create the passion of the first fewmonths of getting to know each other when the emotional drama peaks.As an unpaid assistant, I burned through my meager savings, and immersedmyself in the science of friendships and romances.Expanding the Self by Entering RelationshipsMy personal story continues with one more twist, which brings the sci-entific research home literally.Partway into my internship, I was singleand dating when my friend Martin invited me to a rooftop party in NewYork City.When I arrived, a smiling, six-foot-tall, well-sculpted womanopened the door.She was the hostess, and I was smitten.Pursuing her wasan exciting challenge.The apartment and rooftop deck were filled tomaximum capacity.One minute, she was dancing on a table; the next,she was getting a cluster of guests laughing, mixing drinks, or checkingout the view overlooking the city.I found her on a couch later in thenight and took a place next to her.She asked me what I did, and I told her that I was studying howcouples maintain passion in long-term relationships.When I saw howintrigued she was, I realized that my new line of work had given me akiller pick-up line.She was a yoga teacher and more interested in intuition than science,but she seemed eager to learn more and plied me with questions.Can youreally study passion and love? What have you discovered? Our conversa-tion continued for hours.While she absorbed my love for science, I ab-sorbed the details of her yoga training, how the philosophy behind it is 128 Curious?often lost, and the ways of calming the mind through body movements.Six months later, we married
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